Be Care Full!

On Sunday afternoon I received news that a good friend of mine had taken his own life on Saturday evening.  The good friend was my buddy Mo Murrey.  Mo and I worked together at Fellowship Church for several years in the Children’s Ministry.  He worked in the media area doing the things necessary to produce excellent programming and great Sunday services.  He worked for everyone doing the things that not very many people could or would do.  Most of what he did required him to work long hours and never receive any credit for his labor and he did it well with a great attitude.

He did all of these things not just for me but for everyone, all of the time and he did it with a smile.  There in lies the trouble!  You see Mo dealt with a lot of mental and emotional issues that made him not want to smile.  They made him want go into a dark cave and cry.  I don’t know the extent of Mo’s troubles but they were relentless and tiring.  Regardless of this burden, you would never know that he had any issues what-so-ever.  He kept those issues to himself because he wouldn’t want to trouble anyone with it.  He used to go see a doctor about his problems and I know he tried to take medication for them but medication won’t treat the cause just the symptoms and sometimes it’s not enough.  Apparently it wasn’t this time for sure!

Mo was brilliant! Flat out brilliant.  He knew something about everything it seemed and if he didn’t know it he would find out about it.  I used to say to him that I wish he came in pocket size so that I could take out my “Pocket Mo” and get answers to things I needed help with.  I hope that never seemed degrading to him. I don’t think it did since he knew how brilliant I thought he was.  To me it was the most sincerest form of flattery because that’s what they they say imitation is.  He hung out with other brilliant people and he loved his friends dearly. Most of them were young and genius like himself.  He often felt obligated to take care of them like a father would.  I was always impressed by that! He wanted to see that they could trust him because he was like them.

Mo was one of the greatest servants I’ve ever known.  He gave everyone of us who knew him a piece of him and he served us with all of his heart.  I often recall the countless times he helped me with making sure the old plotter printer at FC stayed on track to print all of the stuff I needed for the next day.  Since he worked all of the time, he used to tell me to go home when it was late in the afternoon/evening or early morning and he would watch the printer for me and make sure that my print job would get done.  I never forgot that and I always felt indebted to Mo for allowing me to spend time with my wife and kids while he slaved over my print job late in the night and early morning.  He never wanted anything from me except maybe a thank you.   He was more interested in making sure that I could spend my time with Amy and the kids and keep the home stable.

Since the FC days, Mo and I continued our friendship and I called him several times a year just to check on him.  He came out to our house several times to help us get our computer stuff set up and working properly.  He was the first person I called whenever I had those kinds of issues. He had dinner with us and my kids knew him as “Uncle Mo”. They loved to interact with Mo and I think Mo really liked them even though I think he was often overwhelmed by their energy – most people are!  Mo really liked Amy and he loved how much her and I love each other and how good we are together.  He used to always say that I was a very blessed man to have Amy.  I couldn’t agree more!

In the past 6 months I hadn’t talked to Mo except a small text interaction where I asked him how he was doing.  Recently however, I needed some help with our Mac computers and so I called him to get some advice (of course) and we chatted a bit about how things were going.  He seemed a little down but not too bad.  We talked about getting together and meeting at the Apple Store and he would help me buy a computer for Amy.  We were going to have lunch and catch up.  We set a date for last week and then I had to cancel for some reason so I postponed our meeting until today.  He seemed a little bummed that I had to postpone our appointment but he was ok with it.  I wonder if he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it today for our lunch?  I don’t know for sure but I do know that I wish I would have caught up with him last week.

I’m sad today but I’m happy that what ever burdens Mo was dealing with he no longer has.  He’s with Jesus loving life and feeling amazing. I’ll be happy to see him there someday. I’m glad to have known him and learned from him.   He will be missed!

Brian