Be Care Full!

If I were asked for my advice on a successful marriage I would offer up the following three things:

#1) Put God above your spouse! – Matt. 22:37-38 It is the greatest commandment and if followed relieves the pressure of having to face the challenges of marriage and parenting alone. God really wants the best for our marriage and parenting – For if God is with us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31

> Practical Application: Build and fuel a passion for talking to, learning about and following Jesus. Spend more time with Him than you do anyone.  I personally talk to Jesus all day long.  See folks I really don’t just wander around talking to myself all day, I’m just having great conversations with the only savior of the world – Hello!

#2) Place your wife above your kids! – Eph. 5:25-33 -These verses tells husbands & wives to love each other sacrificially .  Kids are not mentioned.  Not to say you shouldn’t give yourself up for them too but not at the expense of your marriage.  Kids are wonderful gifts to any marriage but as Proverbs 22:6 says …”train a child in the the way they should he should GO”‘ when your child does “go” you will need to have taught a child how to establish a good marriage.  Go is the operative word!  Guess what folks?- they will leave someday so you better have your marriage in order or that guy or gal who you’ve just spent years with seem like a stranger.

Practical Application: Build in time to talk to your spouse on a daily basis in front of the children and when they interrupt (and they will) tell them that they will need to wait until you finish talking to your spouse.  Put date nights and getaways in your schedule and don’t include your children.  BTW – before you say it – you cannot afford not to date your wife!  So figure it out!  One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is to show them how much you love your spouse! Never stop courting them!

#3) Cherish each other – this is some of the best advice given to me by my brother Dave who from his heart shared with me at a toast at my wedding.  I think he didn’t realize how good of advice that it would be to me but as I look back at the 14 years that I’ve been with my wife, I’ve made it a point to cherish her.  As a result I’ve served her, loved her and truly cherished her.  If you will work at cherishing each other you will build a trust and devotion that will span a lifetime.  I was blessed to have parents that showed me what that looks like.  I believe we should all work to show our kids what that looks like too.

Practical Application: There are many ways to do this for example: Men: Do things around the house that serves your wife (dishes, vacuum, clean counters, laundry, etc.) – even if you hate doing them.  Wives – let them and be thankful and complimentary and affirm them – we need it!  Start with serving each other and then continue finding ways to be more like Christ to each other.  It will transform your marriage – I promise!

It is my belief that if more people could get their marriage built around the love and strength of God as the center of it, there would be a dramatic decrease in divorce, messed up kids and a world that truly a better place to live.

I hope this little advice blesses someone someday!

I love my wife! <- FYI, that’s me cherishing her.

Brian